Today is Your Birthday

Written by Dad a few years back in an attempt to make a change from the usual "Happy Birthday" song. For some reason it never quite caught on and he claims he has been broken-hearted ever since!

Sing to the tune of "Today While the Sun Shines"

Today is your birthday

It comes once a year.

As family and friends

We bring you good cheer.

We bring lots of presents,

A big party too.

Happy Birthday Dear ________

Happy Happy to you!

Alien

by Beverly Evans - circa 1960

"It's 1:30 and I should be in bed but I have been reading the poems and laughing - I hope I can go to sleep. Here is a poem I wrote 50 years ago. I could only remember a little bit and then it came to me so I thought I better write it down. Love, Mom"

Alien (It didn't have a title so I added one)

He alighted from his saucer

In a very cheery manner

And he carried on his back

What seemed to be a banner.

He planted it quickly in the ground

Then left on his trip to the stars

And according to the words on that flag,

The earth had been claimed by Mars.

Happy Birthday Dad - a poem by Suzy

Dad is so caring, hard working and wise
He knows how to conserve and find good buys
Has a good sense of humor, he was always being funny
When I fell asleep at dinner, he’d hop me like a bunny

He always played with us at the Logandale Pool
And took us for scooter rides so we could feel cool
He taught me how to help build a block wall
And was brave to take all eight of us to the mall!

He knows his health facts and is pretty darn smart
And taught us not to restrict a possible fart
He always vacuumed and helped around the house
And tried to catch varmints, whether a gopher or mouse

A very good hunter, he loves the thrill
And even cooks it up at Barney’s Grill
Cooks the best split pea soup I’ve ever had
He’s a great example of a loving Dad

An example of kindness, serving with might
He taught me to want to choose the right
I love him so much, what else do I say?
Oh da doo dah flippin day!

Camping Treasure Hunt

At Kevin's property on Beaver Mountain before everyone else arrived on Friday, Kevin & his kids and Chuck & Snick made up names for all of the locations on the property. The map was drawn by Tylee.

Lower Lair - Trailer site (Brad & Candi's trailer) on the closest spot to the main road

Symphony's Sleeper - Kevin & Cynthia's trailer

The Grumpy Groundhog - Trailer site (Mom & Dad's trailer)

Halle's Hideaway - Tent site (Deb & Randy's spot)

Outer Limits - Tent site (Wayne & Melissa's spot)... technically not on Kev's property

The Komfy Kaden - Tent site (vacant)

Kode's Cook-Shack - Kevin's Cook-Shack

The Stop & Drop - Outhouse

Tylee Ann Happy Land - Picnic tables/main gathering spot

Kozy Kobe - Tent site (vacant). Although... Kobe put several other kids to work sweeping, cleaning and setting up "house". They had several rooms including 2-flat screen (plywood) TV's!

Snick Pit - Horseshoe pit

Fart Fort - Log structure

Sleepy Hollow - Hammock

Quad Corral - 4-wheeler parking area

Chuck Hut - Chuck & Snick's tent site

Quiver Corner - Archery range

The adults gathered around on Saturday while the kids were off playing to make up the following clues for a treasure hunt....

We've gathered you 'round the fire pit

for something fun to do.

A treasure hunt is what's in store...

here's a map and your first clue:

In the fort where you can fart,

your very first clue will loom.

Search the north wing and it will be

in the corner of the room.

The Lower Lair is your next stop,

you'll think you're pretty cool.

The very next clue that you must find

is in a box of tools!

Toward the Sleepy Hollow

is the way to point your shoes.

Your clue is on the hammock's wood...

If you take a snooze, you lose!

Hanging from a lower limb

at Halle's Hideaway,

just like a plane is your next clue.

Read it, then run away!

Jog down to Quiver Corner,

but don't trip as you go.

If you get to the target, you've gone too far -

Look for a tree as white as snow.

At the Kozy Kobe

a pink flag hangs in the air.

Hurry up and find your clue

before getting eaten by a bear!

At the Grumpy Groundhog,

the clue is plain you'll see.

It's hiding underneath a bush

that looks like a Christmas tree.

(oh da do da day!)

The Outer Limits is really far

so hurry... don't be late!

Watch your step, 'cause there may be puke

as you open the tailgate.

As soon as you finish reading this poem

run to Symphony's Sleeper.

You'll find your clue on the porch

sitting underneath the sweeper.

Over in the Quad Corral

there is a place just dandy.

Look inside the saddlebag

of the quad of Brad & Candi.

There's a place at the Komfy Kaden

under a big rock, you know.

When you pick it up to get the clue,

don't drop it on your toe!

Tylee Ann Happy Land

is where we stop to eat.

Look real hard, you'll find a clue

under a wooden seat.

There is a clue at the Stop & Drop...

it's behind the light, you see.

Take the note and read the clue -

don't stop to take a pee!

Over at Kode's Cook Shack

it is a happenin' spot.

You'll quickly find your next clue

beneath the cowboy coffee pot.

This hiding place is an easy one...

just look a little bit

under the horseshoes for your next clue

in a place called the Snick Pit.

Now you've gone through all the clues...

you're each as sly as a fox.

Open up the shed's side door

and find your treasure box!

*The treasure was a Rice-Krispy Treat and a fruit-rollup for each kid.

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids

This is a poem mom found and emailed out to everyone and I couldn't resist posting it on the family blog. That way when mom starts "getting up there" in 20 or 30 years we'll remember everything she has threatened us with. Be afraid... be very afraid!

"I hope you will all look forward to this. Love you, Mom"

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness...just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,

And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,

I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

And when that is done, I'll crawl under the bed.

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids..)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, 'She's so sweet when she's sleeping!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.)

~ Joanne Bailey Baxter

Evans Family Poems

Click on the name of the poem or song you wish to view:

Alien (Mom 1960)

Blue Mountain Lodge (July 2000)

Brad's Big Buck (Dad 2001)

Campin' Rap (Carissa & Tylee 2006)

Camping Treasure Hunt (2009)

For Time and All Eternity (Mom 2001)

Happy Birthday Dad (Suzy 2009)

Mt. Charleston (Carissa & Snick 1999)

Ode to the McDonald's Cheeseburger (Natalie)

Over the Muddy and Through the Fields (Vicki 2007)

Pulled Over in Utah (Deb & Doc 2007)

The Deer Hunt (Brad 1983)

The Money and the Wheel (Snick 2001)

They Were Just Eating Lunch (Natalie 2001)

Today is Your Birthday (Dad)

'Twas a Night at the Evans's (Suzy 2001)

When I'm an Old Lady and Live with my Kids (2009)

Pulled Over in Utah

by Deb & Doc - 2007

(sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer")

Deb and Doc got pulled over by Bambi

Ridin' up to Kevin's property

Deb said those flashing lights weren't for us

But Doc said, "Holy crap! They are for me"

We went too fast heading out of Cedar

All the way through a construction zone

Deb thought Bambi looked like Molly Mormon

But Doc said, "She's a DIKE right to the bone!"

Doc said, "Please, oh please make it a warning"

The cop said, "I'm citing you just as I should"

Deb said, "Doc, you could have shown your cleavage

but with a girl cop that won't do no good!"

We should have put a moral to this story

But anger hinders creativity

So, if you're ever pulled over in Utah

Just suck it up and pay the FRIGGIN' FEE!

Over the Muddy and Through the Fields

by Vicki Conger

(Sing to the tune of "Over the River and Through the Woods")

Over the Muddy and through the fields

to Grandfather's house we go.

We come everyday to Barney's Cafe'

I'll take a Sloppy Joe!

Over the highway and through the dip

Oh, Grandpa does despise

when kids get rough and mess with stuff

Then blood pressure starts to rise!

Over the Muddy and through the fields

to Grandmother's house we drive

Can kids stick around while we go to town

just for an hour of five?

Over the highway and through the dip

That there's an S-U-V

Don't fall in love with it because

it's leaving with us next week!

Campin' Rap

Written and performed by Carissa & Tylee

Beaver Mountain, August 2006

Up on the mountain is our family

and an outhouse where we have to go pee

Kyle listens to his music and reads a book

and Kevin is usually the family cook

Cynth chases her kids all around

and Kobe eats food off the ground

Tylee's riding on the 4-wheeler day and night

and the outhouse tends to give Debbie a fright!

Snick's tooting up a storm to keep Chuck warm,

while Sissy dreams of Dexter's arm

Carissa thought of hot guys all day through

and Cameron sits on the pot and tries to go poo

Grandma's salmon dip is pretty darn tasty

and Grandpa always says "Make sure there's no wastey!"

Randy spent 70 bucks just to go fishin'

and not to have her eyes hurt was all Noob was wishin'

Chuck ditched Snick to play horseshoes.

Kaden refused to change his clothes but that's no news

When it comes to watermelon Halle doesn't leave any

We went to see shooting stars but didn't see many

A deer walked through camp and that was real sweet

The guys shot bows and arrows and thought is was neat

Now we've all had a blast and it's been so much fun

It's a bummer that this trip is almost done

They Were Just Eating Lunch

Click on the page to make it large enough to read

The Money and the Wheel

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'Twas a Night at the Evans's

Click on the pages to make them large enough to read

For Time and All Eternity

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Blue Mountain Lodge

July 2000

Went up past Minersville

Stayed in a cabin in July

It was hot as hell but the food was good

We laughed so hard until we cried

Chorus:

Blue Mountain Lodge

Take me away

Blue Mountain Lodge

We'll see you again Thanksgiving Day

We made a film, SW-2

Hope we don't get digaridoo!

Went 4-wheelin' on a dusty road

Played chicken foot and grandma crowed

Chorus:

Blue Mountain Lodge

Take me away

Blue Mountain Lodge

We'll see you again Thanksgiving Day

Family ties are stronger

but it's so hot we can't stay longer!!

Dad sprayed us down to keep us cool

Played cards & games and acted like fools

We sat on the deck and had lots of fun

Thought we saw UFOs and Denver turned one

Chorus:

Blue Mountain Lodge

Take me away

Blue Mountain Lodge

We'll see you again Thanksgiving Day

Ode to the McDonald's Cheeseburger

by Natalie Evans (Click on the poem to make it large enough to read)

The Deer Hunt